To post or not to post, that is the question...

Have you ever had so many thoughts swirling around your head that you don't know where to begin?? And really, what's the point if no one reads it right? Who really gives a crap what I have to say....

SIDEBAR: Now, don't start thinking,,, Where's that Kat that was soooo happy for the last several weeks! Trust me she is still here, and frankly happier than I have any right being, and enjoying every single minute of it. I live by the 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' mantra... and the way I look at it now,, is at least I'll be happy when it hits me!

Back to the thoughts that no one cares about... So many... and although I sometimes dread the task of writing things down,, I have found it quite therapeutic. Helps me gain perspective, to be able to look back on where I was and what I was thinking and feeling weeks ago, hell, yesterday for that matter. And isn't that the idea (or at least it was my original idea)... Capture it... If for no one other than myself...

SO what's the thought of the day.... I am happier than I have been in a very, very, very long time. I want to soak up every single minute of it. I am trying to push the hesitation and fear aside. I am trying to trust... There are so many things that have happened in my life that have left me scarred (probably no more than the next person, but I am so tender hearted it's not funny). But when the fear creeps in,,, whispering in my ear that I don't deserve this, that none of it is real, and that I will be made to look like the fool...

How have I chosen to deal with it??? I have chosen to battle it with the best ammunition I have... I remember I am happy... very, very, very happy...