The best laid plans...

I have my calendar at work set... Every morning I get a 'meeting reminder' telling me how many of the initial 177 days I have left... Surprisingly it was at 156 today... How did that happen?

I had it all set in my head... all worked out on paper... the math of 'it',,,, the big move....

The first few days were great, like the proverbial weight had been lifted... The remainder of the days I have been plagued by insomnia...

There are good days at work, when I feel like sticking it out will be no big deal,,, and of course, my boss won't want to loose me, so I will be able to follow through, move to NC , keep my job, very little adjustment...

Then there are the days, where it seems as though I am aboard a sinking ship,,, with a tiny, tiny, tiny bucket, and a big, big, big hole... I have a boss, who never stops. Not even to see if the decisions he is making are actually good for the business unit. Somethings we are moving so fast on, that things are falling through the cracks... not on my projects, but it effects me none the less...

This makes me fearful...

Fearful, that I won't need a 6 month plan, because within 6 months he will have screwed things so royally, by saying yes to everything, that we won't have any clients left.

Fearful that even if he wanted to keep me 6 months from now, we may not have enough clients to warrant it...

Fearful, that even though I know I am capable of many things, I won't be able to find a job (should I need to)...

Fearful that even though I say I'm not motivated by money that when push comes to shove,
I will find it hard to take a pay cut... Anyone know how much happiness is selling for now days?

I don't like living in fear... I know better... But really, how much sense does it make to quit a perfectly good job, just so you can live where you want to? Especially in a time, when many, many people are out of work, and have been for some time...

I know I am a little off my rocker, but really, I must be crazy....

...177...

~177~

the number of days until I move...

It has been decided...

I am formulating the plan,

but I do know that I only have

177 days

left.

~122~

the estimated days of work...

That follows the assumption

that my boss

doesn't let me work remotely.

Or

122 days until I start working from

my home office.

~13~

the number of pay periods I have

to save every last penny.

The count down has begun...

Let's see how many times I change things up...

Content: To be or Not to be...

What does it mean to be content... ?

Has anyone ever truly felt that way?

When you find yourself looking for the next thing, is that considered always looking for the challenge, or is it that you are never content, seemingly unable to appreciate what you have.

I like my job. I make good money. I do not "want'' for anything, if I need it I buy it. Florida is actually a pretty nice place to live, all tropical storms and hurricanes considered. And yet, it is not enough.

Lately, all I can think about is getting back to NC. It consumes my thoughts. I spend time everyday looking at houses, looking at job opportunities, looking forward to being able to see and spend time with the people I consider my true friends.

I spent a great many hours trying to determine if this desire was because I was unhappy in some way, because i was running from something or because it was what I really wanted for the right reason's....

I left NC for SC and the call of the almighty dollar, swept away by a 98% increase in pay, and I wasn't happy... Not for one minute.

I left SC for FL, this time the lure was the job (and a little bit more money)... and I can say this time I at least have been happy... as content as I think I can be...

But in all honesty, I have had "Carolina on my mind" since the day after I left four and a half years ago...

So I am coming up with a plan... I have been fortunate enough to obtain a position that pays me well, it has allowed me to maintain very little debt... which alternately means, if I am very conservative with my spending, I should be able to accumulate a pretty sizable savings in the next 6-7 months...

6-7 months is ample time to continue to prove myself at work, as well as look for other options...

I can wait for 6 -7 months... I'd be back just in time to see the dogwood bloom... If my plan works...