Mile High Club...or just...High

** Let me start with this,,, if you are one of my more upstanding and honorable friends, please read knowing you may be offended**

SO as promised... Here's my Mile High Club story... and as promised, it will probably not be nearly as funny as it was in the moment, but you'll get it anyway... Things to keep in mind; I am traveling with the Director of our business unit and the Business Analyst who reports to me and I don't really know either of them outside the office environment... we have not only worked all day,, but are now on a 6 hour travel plan to Dallas...

The beauty of the afternoon starts as we are all sitting and talking about, religion... My boss and BA are telling me about the different beliefs they have, and asking questions about my faith... this goes on for a good 45 minutes before one of them has to take a break,,, up until this point we have been in our own world, really not paying attention to anyone....

Then slam,, hits you in the face... There's this 'gentleman' traveling with the wife and two kids,, she takes a quick jaunt to the gift shop, and he decides that this is a good time to dig for gold.... I swear, you would have thought that the mans underwear had been lodged up his butt for the last, oh I don't know, 10 years... Because,, he was DIGGING.... no shame, no worries,, just digging to get that wedgie out... He seemed very satisfied with himself that he managed to accomplish the goal without his wife seeing any of it(although I'm sure she got a nice surprise on laundry day!!)... forget the other 500 people in the near vicinity,,,

So we wait and wait, as our first flight is delayed... Finally we start boarding,, and even before we can get settled into our seats there seems to be this mad dash for the bathrooms... My BA and are are acutely aware of this as I am in the last row, back against the bathroom wall and she's only 3 rows ahead of me...

This is our first glimpse of Joe Dirt... he runs back, nearly running over this 80 yr old on the way to see her grand daughter,,, we were so annoyed by that and the 60 year old in full 'gangsta' attire, big gold clock around the neck and everything that we somehow missed Joe Dirt's girlfriend trying to make it back before the other people in line. She missed out, and turned around and headed back to her seat,,, We were then on our way...

The fasten seat belt sign went off and here comes Joe Dirt.... a few seconds later, the girlfriend,,, again with the timing,, they can seem to get it quite right... This happens a few more times (this is only a 2.5 hour flight, so really,, how many times can one truly need to use the bathroom), the flight attendant looks at me, i look at her, and she helps me move my stuff up to the same row as my coworker.... So those of us in the back are getting a big chuckle over the whole thing,,, trying to figure out if they are truly trying to gain membership in the legendary Mile High Club or just the High Club... Not the we were doing any 'profiling' but it really could have been either...

Then by round three or four I'm up, my briefcase is in my seat and I'm facing the back of the plane,,, hunched over trying to find some documents to prep for the next days meetings... Just as I find them, I look up... And there it is,,,, No doubt that they were shooting for the Mile High Club,, and unfortunately, no doubt that they had finally achieved their goal... The evidence was there,,, behind Joe Dirt's halfway buckled, baggy jeans, although they aren't nearly as baggy as I wish they were...... I see it, my co worker sees it, the 60 year old gangsta sees it and the flight attendant sees it.... we all try to not bust out laughing,, which for me was quite a feat... and then 15 seconds later,, here comes Joe Dirt's girlfriend,,, head down as she makes her way out into the isle as she is straightening her way too tight sweat pants.... yes, tight sweat pants... and she looks up, looks straight at me,,, and grins..... you know if she hadn't done that I would have been able to hold my composure,,, but she was so proud of herself,,, I just laughed,,, out loud,, right in her face,,,, (not my proudest moment)...

Why was this so disturbing,,, let's see,,, there's the fact that for what ever reason, 60% of the people on the plane felt the need to use the bathroom during the flight, and let's face it,, there is only so much room in there anyway,,, just leaves a germ-a-phobe's skin crawling... and then there's the fact that it was Joe Dirt... I am ashamed to admit,,, probably wouldn't have been near as disturbing if it had been Brad and Angelina,, or two other equally as hot individuals... really how hot would that have been?

So not only was this not my own Mile High Club story,,, but it was Joe Dirt's...