The things you find...

I tried to pretend that the reason I didn't throw things out this time (while packing the house) was because it had to be done in such a hurry... 3 and a half, 4 days to pack up a house get it into a couple PODS all the while filtering out the things I just had to have for the next few months...

Since I had lived without most of these treasures for almost 6 months, I decided it was time to purge. I have had a 4 day weekend and had GRAND plans of emptying all the boxes and having things put away so that when I came home from work on Tuesday, it would really feel like coming HOME... Grand plans they were...

Now, I have filled a few big boxes with items for Goodwill, and have also gone through a box of garbage bags and been very thankful that trash shoot was just around the corner... but I haven't gotten nearly as much done as I would have liked... Why??? Because I started going through boxes... Boxes from 1986, 1996 and 2006 and so on... Then I came upon a box in a box in a box,, it was a set, you know the sturdy kind that look finished/decorative with silver handles and corner covers,,, and inside the smallest box (that wasn't very small) I found the reason I hadn't done anything with these boxes in the last 8 or so years....

I found the remnants of my marriage... All there in a nice box, chronologically stacked, dried flowers, love notes, ring boxes, letters and cards from when my husband was out of town, or in town and working late,,, or just because... Letters from when my husband was my husband and from when my husband loved me.... My first thought was "wow, I thought I threw this out a long time ago" ... then I started to go through it... Not the mistake you are thinking it may have been,,, I believe it's always good to know that someone loved you that much... enough to profess it over and over, card after card, letter after letter.... But then I sadly realized I no longer believe it, any of it... I think that's probably the saddest part of divorce,,, well, at least my divorce... I no longer have the joy of believing that that person loved me as much as they said they did (for he told me it wasn't true)...

So this time, after all the other times of finding this box (I've packed the box 5 times and moved it 5 times in 8 years) I decided I am done, even though I thought I was done years ago... the only thing that will come from me finding this box again in a couple years is the same reliving of a sad moment (even though some of those cards did bring a smile to my face, he was clever when he wanted to be)...

Somehow, it just doesn't feel like that baggage belongs in this house... I doesn't go with my new decor...